Tigers, Our Garden, and Facebookers
by Barry Blauer
How many ways are there to lose a ballgame? The Detroit Tigers are trying to answer that question for us. Gees guys, we didn’t really need to know. Errors in the field, poor base running, no skills at bunting, pitchers not holding the base runner, manager and coaches either meddling too much with the players during the game or not at all, wrong lineups, players not really into the game because they worry too much about the stock market, “Jimmy Smokes” (Ray Bentley’s nickname for Jim Leyland) was lighting up a cigarette and forgot to send in a pitch signal to the catcher, and a whole assortment of things that are wrong with the Tigers. Their kind of play belongs in the minor leagues.
I won’t invest three hours of my life watching the Tigers lose but I do check the box scores every morning. That’s when I go, “Ouch and Damn.”
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Our garden is doing well except for one thing, the damned rabbits! Betty grew up on the farm and loves animals so she loves to feed the city dwellers. That includes chipmunks, rabbits, birds, squirrels, and any other creature that wanders into our yard. I’ve got to put up the rabbit fence before they eat all of our beans. I prefer to live trap the rabbits and then pop them in the head with my pellet gun but how would I explain to Betty where that freshly skinned rabbit sitting on the counter came from.
Sorry Martha Stewart, that wouldn’t be a “good thing.”
We have tomatoes setting and I imagine going out there someday and picking a few of them for dinner. Betty will rinse them off, slice them up, and put them along with a recently filled salt shaker on the table. Don’t worry; my sodium level is below normal. Heirloom tomatoes are the best eating tomato there is. They’re not picture perfect and you don’t see them in the produce section of your favorite grocery store. They come in different varieties from Golden Jubilee to Red Cherokee.
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I started to post quotes on Facebook from famous comedians or just a character like the late Andy Rooney but I think he can also be called a humorist. It was something to lighten up the day I thought. I just finished my list of Rodney Dangerfield quotes and I’m moving on to Henny Youngman. The guys I’m borrowing quotes from are either comedians or humorist and didn’t find the need to use profanity in their jokes or stories like so many in the business do today. They’ve also passed on.
And then a friend on Facebook decided he should help me out by adding an additional quote every time I posted. I thought, crap, there’s goes my material. It was my idea and I guess I thought it belonged to me. So I posted on his wall that he can take over the quotes because I needed the break anyway so he did – for a few days and then he quit.
So now I’m back to doing it again and I hope the Facebookers enjoy them as much as I do.
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Any guesses on who Dave Letterman’s voting for this November? Gees Dave, pull you head out of your . . . oops.
I just finish reading, “The Amateur,” by Edward Klein and I’m starting, “Killing Lincoln” by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard. These books were a gift to me from my brother, Doug, via a Christmas gift card.
What will Oblama pull out of his hat just before the election?
Until the next time . . .